How hard it is to be a good listener?

How hard it is to be a good listener?
How hard it is to be a good listener?

Being a good listener is one of the most important skills that every human being should have, but not everyone can develop and that is only understandable in today’s culture, which creates an environment conducive to attention deficit, because all distractions have them at hand, when not chatting, are social networks, viral information and games on the phone, that make us obsessive monsters with insatiable appetites incapable of being fully present in a conversation, relegating well active listening to the background.

Everyone at some point have been victims of a bad listener, the typical person who does not make eye contact when you speak, your body language that indicates we do not have much time or simply not interested in our topic of conversation, we responding in monosyllables, gestures or sounds trying to show that he is understanding what we say but your mind is wandering in other subjects.

Listeners are bad everywhere, at home, at work and in the group of friends, so we must be vigilant to identify and avoid falling into the same mistake, but how do we do ?,  Well, there are behaviors that They allow us to develop this valuable skill, and help us to have more harmonious relations within the highlights are:

  • Aim to be a good listener is the main thing. Start with given the opportunity to be a good listener and accept the fact that doing so will become your most important when communicating with the other weapon.
  • Be respectful: When someone speak, make eye contact and express your interest, Good listeners know that by showing respect for the ideas of others, your partner is more likely to continue to share information, which builds trust and generates empathy. Do not make the mistake of jumping in with answers or immediate or the person questioning him about what he did right or wrong, better listen actively and advice if relevant you can make respectful questions that can contribute to good solutions.
  • Talk less of what you hear: Sometimes we find people who interrupt every moment when you are talking to them to present their point of view and leave to finish an idea, making it impossible to flow a good conversation, so it is important to establish its own rules of listening / speaking, for example 70/30 or 80/20, which means that you intend to listen to the 70% or 80% and talk 30% or 20% depending on the percentage considered appropriate, in this way will improve the quality and effectiveness of their dialogue, the beginning may be difficult to suppress listen more talk less but with practice and patience may be controlling the drive.
  • Avoid distractions: Be sure to give full attention to the person you are speaking, avoid answering phone calls or make use of electronic devices or objects that disperse, this will show much interest and respect for the other person.

Remember that if you are willing to be a good listener, may not be anything easy to achieve, it is a skill that not all develop and requires great determination and willingness to accept behaviors and points of view, but not fail in the attempt because once it is achieved, it teaches us to control emotions and empathy, allowing us, succeed in our relationships at any level.